DON’T BE MAD AT YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILIES IF THEY DON’T APPRECIATE WHAT YOU DO.

Recently, someone sent me a mail, asking what she can do about her friends who don’t encourage her talent. She said she is a writer and that she has written many short stories but most of her friends never for once show interest in what she does. She said it is really frustrating, especially because she always supports her friends and family members in whatever they do.

Talented individual. 

In my response to this mail, I told her some things which I will like to share with everyone here today. I call this phenomenon talent apathy. Not everyone will appreciate what you do. It doesn’t mean that they don’t like you or they don’t like the fact that you are talented, it just that they may have reasons why they are reluctant to support your dreams and visions. It is very natural for us humans to expect our friends and families to support what we do but the truth is that often times, they don’t feel the way we feel about us and they are not always connected to  the things that  we derive pleasure.

To start with, you could be a talented singer who sings a particular genre of music but some of your friends and family members may not like music at all. Or let us say, some of them may not like the kind of songs that you sing. So if this people are not crazy about your stuff, don’t blame them. You cannot force them to like what they don’t have feelings for.
Another reason that may make you friends and families not to appreciate your talent is lack of understand on their part. Oftentimes, our friends and families don’t know how good we are or how talented we are because they know us. They have seen the worst sides of us and this has created a sort of negative impression or thinking about us.
 For example, you and your siblings are always fighting and squabbling over petty things, thus it well be hard for such siblings to read your book if you titled it “How to live together in peace”. Your book could actually be grate and awesome but that sibling that you grew up with and always pick a quarrel with, will not see you as a special person, he or she is more likely to see you as an annoying brother or sister or cousin.

Be consistent with your talent. 

Another thing that may cause talent apathy is the level of education.  Education so to say is meant to make someone live and act above one’s animalistic urges and pettiness. True education is not only about having a degree, it’s about being good enough to appreciate everyone and be ready to offer help when needed. It takes a well-educated person to see something good in the other people, even if the other people are not their friends and family members. Your friends and families intellectual and emotional maturity may not be good enough to appreciate what you do. They may even know that you are good and still not appreciate you, it because they are being petty and this could be caused by many things including jealousy.

Finally, when it comes to appreciating ourselves, most of us will give ourselves higher marks than we actually deserve or truly worth. You might think you are good and talented when in actual fact you are not. A truthful family member or a friend may decide not to flatter you by pretending that you are good, yet they may not want to appear as if they are discouraging you so instead, they withdraw back from you and from what you claim to be your talent.

Solutions To Talent Apathy?

These are basically the things that you can do to make your friends family member to love what you do:

1. If they are constantly complaining about your character, change it. Before they can love what you do, they must love you first. Strangers love and appreciate what you do because they don’t know you. Who knows, they may not like your personality as well if they got to know you.

2. Perfect your talent. Be good at what you do. There’s no alternative for the best, the best will always remain the best. So go extra miles to develop and fine-tune tour talent. Crude oil is useless if it is not yet refined, but when it is refined, it becomes a wanted commodity. Gold in its raw state is just a piece of ugly metal but when it passes through the fire, it becomes a gem. So work on your talent.

3. Don’t keep quiet about what you do. Be proud of it and be consistent in doing it your consistency alone at what you do might pique your friends and families’ interest. If what you do is what you always talk about, over time, they get used to the fact and begin to accept that fact.

4. Believe in yourself. Even when your friends and families don’t see anything special about you, think like a special person and you will be surprised how you will be specially treated because your thinking determines your behaviour and your behaviour determines your personality and your personality determines how people treat you.

4. Finally, be proud but not arrogant. People naturally don’t like arrogant people though many of us are arrogant without even knowing it! Probably this is why there is so much hatred going on in our society. In one way or the other, someone hates what someone somewhere does. Being proud is not a crime, it is not a sin. If you don’t celebrate yourself, you are more likely to be forgotten in the rubble of this life. But don’t be too loud in the celebration of your achievement to the extent that you arouse envy and hatred, be subtle and smart with it. If possible, downplay it when people begin to praise you. But if people have not started noticing you, make yourself noticed until you are noticed then you stop blowing your own trumpet, people will blow it for you if you are truly and really good.

I hope to see you at the top someday!